Posts
A buddy of mine and I were recently talking about the difficulty of raising daughters. Disclaimer-Back in the ‘before-time,’ he and I both behaved badly in some relationships. We both had little black books, with large numbers of entries, and consciences with short memories. At some point both of us were *itch-slapped by different ladies that showed us what it was like to be on the receiving end of being played. We eventually got gospel.
So this message is for all daughters, sisters, aunts and mothers, from 16 to 76.
Never Be Rule # 6: The way some men think about women, is similar to how we think about food. Scene 3, take 2; a nice restaurant in Any town, USA. A gentleman is with his date, and he his looking the menu over. He turns to the dinner section, as he requires a meal of substance. He peruses the seafood, the beef and lamb, pasta, lasagna and main dish salads.
Scene 4: The gentleman wants his meal to last, so he orders the meat or fish as his main course, then moves on to consider side dishes and condiments. He orders a nice, rare filet mignon, and the waiter compliments him for having made a fine choice. The waiter then explains that the main dish comes with a lite salad, and two side dishes- redskin potatoes and okra.
Scene 5: Once served, the gentleman focuses on the filet and redskin potatoes as he enjoys his dinner, only occasionally getting around to the salad. He never even touches the okra. As the end of the meal approaches, his date asks him why he hasn’t eaten his okra. He responds by saying-‘I have to be in the mood for something slimy to eat okra.’
Scene 6: The waiter returns and asks how the meal was, and if he’ll be ordering desert. Despite his fullness, the gentleman chooses cherries jubilee (there is something about men and cherries you see).
Whether he eats in, or takes the desert home, he will get around to his desert. The okra on the other hand, will find its way to the garbage container with all the other distasteful refuse and disposable menu items, which had no value during the meal.
The take-home lesson:
If you cannot be the filet mignon, then be the cherries jubilee. But never, ever, allow yourself to be anybody’s okra.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The Cult of Political Personality
Who gave us the right to intercede on either side of this civil war? We sat on the sidelines while Tunisia, Egypt, Yemen, and Bahrain sorted their situations out, why did we 'Bush' Libya? Once again the politics of personality and the politics of oil reveal themselves.
Gadhafi and Fidel have always been on our 'hater' list for standing up to the big bad US of A (assholes). Our government is so capricious-we did nothing in Rwanda, nothing in Darfur, and seem to be completely ignoring the unrest in the Ivory Coast. Our policy should be called what it is-missiles for oil.
We look away while oppressive governments reign over their people so long as we receive some strategic, political, or financial benefit. The moment that dynamic changes, that friend becomes a pariah, and we suddenly get gospel and want to kill them. I am too often ashamed by our government's actions these days. Bush or Obama, it makes no difference. The entire system is run by the wealthy elite-welcome to the New/Old World Order!..
Gadhafi and Fidel have always been on our 'hater' list for standing up to the big bad US of A (assholes). Our government is so capricious-we did nothing in Rwanda, nothing in Darfur, and seem to be completely ignoring the unrest in the Ivory Coast. Our policy should be called what it is-missiles for oil.
We look away while oppressive governments reign over their people so long as we receive some strategic, political, or financial benefit. The moment that dynamic changes, that friend becomes a pariah, and we suddenly get gospel and want to kill them. I am too often ashamed by our government's actions these days. Bush or Obama, it makes no difference. The entire system is run by the wealthy elite-welcome to the New/Old World Order!..
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Valentine's Day: Dating Over 40 As If We're Under 20.
The dating rules didn't really work when we were 20, so why do we still use them at 40? Girl holds prize, guy jumps thru hoops for prize. 3 months later relationship over, girl feels used, guy feels resentment for letting himself be led around by his *ick. That old paradigm continues to direct our relationships.
Result; Today women want commitment before relationship, instead of a relationship that could possibly lead to commitment. Go figure.
Ladies, it isn't fair to expect a guy to negotiate your mine field, avoid the quicksand, and swim the crocodile infested moat, only to beg you to let down your Rapunzel-hair for him to climb. Meanwhile you relax and watch his progress with a smile, and maybe cheer him on?
Guys, how is that we're still trying to nail every plank with a crack in it? At what point do we mature beyond leading with our....libido? At 19, it was almost understandable for us to think with the little head, then the big head, the heart and maybe our ethics-in that order. At this stage of life, we should first listen to our hearts and minds, our ethics-and finally our libidos. This is the honorable way to treat women and to treat ourselves. Honor-now that's a word you don't often hear these days.
Suggestion:
Guys; let us dance thru the mine filed, brave the quicksand, and then find a seat at the edge of the moat.
Ladies; tie those Rapunzel-locs to the bars and lower your own butt down, then jump into the moat, and beat that crocodile to the other side.
Guys, we'll then rise from our seat as a gentleman should, and help that wonderful lady out of the moat, preferably before she loses a limb. I know, I know, some of you bastards wouldn't care, as long you got the rest of her out, right (kidding, just kidding)?
But seriously people, if guys acted a little more reserved with our sexuality like the ladies, and if the ladies were a little less concerned with reputation, and relied more on their 3 or 4 decades of experience instead of a list of hurdles, we could meet each other somewhere in the middle. Sound fair?
These thoughts are with me as we celebrate a day created, let’s face it-to make a dollar. We should not need an ad man to remind us to honor our partners and to do something special for them-men and women alike! Perhaps a day to start each season would make more sense, because we tend to get caught-up with living. We lose focus on what is ultimately most important-each other. The couple is the basis of all society. Let's act like it, and start treating each other with honor.
Result; Today women want commitment before relationship, instead of a relationship that could possibly lead to commitment. Go figure.
Ladies, it isn't fair to expect a guy to negotiate your mine field, avoid the quicksand, and swim the crocodile infested moat, only to beg you to let down your Rapunzel-hair for him to climb. Meanwhile you relax and watch his progress with a smile, and maybe cheer him on?
Guys, how is that we're still trying to nail every plank with a crack in it? At what point do we mature beyond leading with our....libido? At 19, it was almost understandable for us to think with the little head, then the big head, the heart and maybe our ethics-in that order. At this stage of life, we should first listen to our hearts and minds, our ethics-and finally our libidos. This is the honorable way to treat women and to treat ourselves. Honor-now that's a word you don't often hear these days.
Suggestion:
Guys; let us dance thru the mine filed, brave the quicksand, and then find a seat at the edge of the moat.
Ladies; tie those Rapunzel-locs to the bars and lower your own butt down, then jump into the moat, and beat that crocodile to the other side.
Guys, we'll then rise from our seat as a gentleman should, and help that wonderful lady out of the moat, preferably before she loses a limb. I know, I know, some of you bastards wouldn't care, as long you got the rest of her out, right (kidding, just kidding)?
But seriously people, if guys acted a little more reserved with our sexuality like the ladies, and if the ladies were a little less concerned with reputation, and relied more on their 3 or 4 decades of experience instead of a list of hurdles, we could meet each other somewhere in the middle. Sound fair?
These thoughts are with me as we celebrate a day created, let’s face it-to make a dollar. We should not need an ad man to remind us to honor our partners and to do something special for them-men and women alike! Perhaps a day to start each season would make more sense, because we tend to get caught-up with living. We lose focus on what is ultimately most important-each other. The couple is the basis of all society. Let's act like it, and start treating each other with honor.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Colored Girls-Really?
Let me start by saying that I do like Tyler Perry, and that I have also enjoyed some of his films. By all accounts, he is a talented, perhaps gifted film maker. But I take issue with the recurrent theme of his projects. Perry exposes segments of Black culture under the guise of those segments representing the entirety of Black culture. Virtually every movie has the obligatory examples of human nature at its most vile, represented only by Black characters. If an alien were to intercept his movies’ transmission, they would think that the Black community is comprised of vapid, conniving, thieving, incestuous, materialistic adulterers. Even the few characters of any redeeming quality seem to have some fatal flaw-obesity, low self esteem, addiction, or intellect bordering on retardation.
One might say that his movies tell it like it is, and shine light on topics long hidden by our community. To those, I say that there is so much more than what he tells. This man manages to leave out the story lines that could be told, in favor of the prurient and the lascivious, the adulterous and the darker corners of the human psyche.
It could also be argued that no one wishes to see cutesy, warm, uplifting story lines. I agree, but there should be some sort of balance in the portrayal of any subject matter. Uplifting movies do attract viewers and do make money. I site two examples off the top of my head; Sleepless in Seattle and Forrest Gump. Two more; Cooley High and Harlem Nights. The latter three did have scenes that were adult in nature, and involved some activities decidedly less than redeeming. But they also demonstrated positive values and morality in their less than perfect characters. A movie doesn’t have to be the Cosby Family to succeed at the box office.
Mr. Perry has made tens of millions of dollars, and is in the rare position of being able to choose his projects-he is a bankable artist. Yet when given the opportunity to produce for television, he gives us slap stick buffoonery, not seen since Amos and Andy bumbled and ebonic-ed their way onto the screen. His shows House of Pain and Meet the Browns are a modern version of Good Times for semi-intelligent adults. Both shows feature obese characters gyrating, dancing, and signifying to the point of making one viscerally ill. They expose their gelatinous bellies as though they were something to be proud of, in an era when diabetes and heart disease are killing us at a rate faster than Hispanic births-and that is reeeally fast. His characters are guffawing-us all the way to the gallows.
There are other directors that choose to specialize in certain genres. But even Wes Craven delves into different types of scary, instead of strictly horror. Spike Lee, another prolific director, also focuses on Black cultural themes. Yet you will discover a wide variety of subject matter; School Daze, Malcolm X, Summer of Sam, Girl 6, He Got Game, Clockers, and Katrina, to name but a few. And although Spike does cameos in some of his movies, I have yet to see him dress in drag (which would be really, really, scary).
And what the heck is Tyler Perry’s cross-dressing fetish about? I believe that it is indicative of his conflicted sexuality and subliminal desire to be both man and woman. I would surmise that a therapist would immediately connect his abuse as a teenager at the hands of both men and women, to way he mis-portrays our community. Tyler Perry is a prime psychological handbook example of self-loathing, projected upon an entire community. His views of relationships are clearly shaped by his abuse. It hasn’t escaped me either, that his oft reprised character Madea-the gun toting, knife wielding, trash talking grandmother-has yet to be seen in a healthy relationship with a man (or for that matter a woman). It appears that Tyler Perry cannot manage to create an upstanding role even for himself. Instead of crying like a woman on Oprah, he should have been talking like a man with Dr. Phil.
I for one, refuse to patronize or even view another of his attacks on our community (as well as himself). Tyler Perry's creative process seems as though he upchucks into a giant crock pot, seasons it with a little humor, then serves it up as soup for the soul. Sadly, Black women are standing in line like homeless people waiting for a free holiday meal. Before he next sits his butt into a director’s chair, he should first lye down on a psychiatrist’s couch. Perhaps then he will discover that his experience is not our experience, and that there are millions of healthy, loving, relationship stories available within the Black community.
Tnasiti speaks, all rights reserved.
One might say that his movies tell it like it is, and shine light on topics long hidden by our community. To those, I say that there is so much more than what he tells. This man manages to leave out the story lines that could be told, in favor of the prurient and the lascivious, the adulterous and the darker corners of the human psyche.
It could also be argued that no one wishes to see cutesy, warm, uplifting story lines. I agree, but there should be some sort of balance in the portrayal of any subject matter. Uplifting movies do attract viewers and do make money. I site two examples off the top of my head; Sleepless in Seattle and Forrest Gump. Two more; Cooley High and Harlem Nights. The latter three did have scenes that were adult in nature, and involved some activities decidedly less than redeeming. But they also demonstrated positive values and morality in their less than perfect characters. A movie doesn’t have to be the Cosby Family to succeed at the box office.
Mr. Perry has made tens of millions of dollars, and is in the rare position of being able to choose his projects-he is a bankable artist. Yet when given the opportunity to produce for television, he gives us slap stick buffoonery, not seen since Amos and Andy bumbled and ebonic-ed their way onto the screen. His shows House of Pain and Meet the Browns are a modern version of Good Times for semi-intelligent adults. Both shows feature obese characters gyrating, dancing, and signifying to the point of making one viscerally ill. They expose their gelatinous bellies as though they were something to be proud of, in an era when diabetes and heart disease are killing us at a rate faster than Hispanic births-and that is reeeally fast. His characters are guffawing-us all the way to the gallows.
There are other directors that choose to specialize in certain genres. But even Wes Craven delves into different types of scary, instead of strictly horror. Spike Lee, another prolific director, also focuses on Black cultural themes. Yet you will discover a wide variety of subject matter; School Daze, Malcolm X, Summer of Sam, Girl 6, He Got Game, Clockers, and Katrina, to name but a few. And although Spike does cameos in some of his movies, I have yet to see him dress in drag (which would be really, really, scary).
And what the heck is Tyler Perry’s cross-dressing fetish about? I believe that it is indicative of his conflicted sexuality and subliminal desire to be both man and woman. I would surmise that a therapist would immediately connect his abuse as a teenager at the hands of both men and women, to way he mis-portrays our community. Tyler Perry is a prime psychological handbook example of self-loathing, projected upon an entire community. His views of relationships are clearly shaped by his abuse. It hasn’t escaped me either, that his oft reprised character Madea-the gun toting, knife wielding, trash talking grandmother-has yet to be seen in a healthy relationship with a man (or for that matter a woman). It appears that Tyler Perry cannot manage to create an upstanding role even for himself. Instead of crying like a woman on Oprah, he should have been talking like a man with Dr. Phil.
I for one, refuse to patronize or even view another of his attacks on our community (as well as himself). Tyler Perry's creative process seems as though he upchucks into a giant crock pot, seasons it with a little humor, then serves it up as soup for the soul. Sadly, Black women are standing in line like homeless people waiting for a free holiday meal. Before he next sits his butt into a director’s chair, he should first lye down on a psychiatrist’s couch. Perhaps then he will discover that his experience is not our experience, and that there are millions of healthy, loving, relationship stories available within the Black community.
Tnasiti speaks, all rights reserved.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
What's Up With This 'Cougar' Craze?
Suddenly, it has become vogue to be a Cougar. But what is a Cougar anyway? Lithe, supple, felines. Not a bad reference for an older woman-younger man relationship, right? Look deeper. We're talking alpha predator here folks. When I think of Cougars, muscles, sharp claws and deadly fangs, come to mind. I’m a Nat Geo, and Discovery Channel junkie. I remember seeing shows like ‘I Survived’ that depict simulations of people being attacked by Mountain Lions (Cougars). Believe me folks, when I tell you that it wasn’t pretty. The big cat’s attempts to eviscerate the tender mid-section, crack the skull with powerful jaws, or biting the throat to suffocate their prey (in these cases people), did not give me a warm and fuzzy, isn’t she a beauty, kind of response.
Rather, I imagined myself in that position-on my stomach, trying to protect my face and neck, thinking I’m about to die, and wondering if help will arrive in time. This is a very scary scenario, people. So when I see commercials and print and media references to women as Cougars, I’m wondering what the bleep are they saying here? Are they ignorant of the meaning behind this term, or is the reference designed to evoke a latent, visceral, response in men subliminally? This label was likely created by a man with the intent of denigrating older women who like younger men-- in the now. I would argue too, that the subliminal effect would be to demonize such women in the minds of men-- in the future, after the brain processes the term and properly associates it with power and the violence.
The cable TV series ‘Ad Men’ provides a glimpse into the world of marketing and advertising. Very smart people are paid very handsome sums to come up with campaigns that have a subliminal effect. Ads that subtly take effect are highly prized in the commercial as well as the political arena. Such ads work without us realizing that we are being sold something. The movie ‘Inception’ has as its premise, the placing of a kernel of an idea into a victim’s brain. The purpose is to have this kernel accepted as a self originated concept, rather than as the external plant of someone else. If the brain is able to determine its foreign nature, the concept will not grow to fruition-at least that is the premise of the movie. The take-home point here is that Trojan Horses can be implanted like a virus, in our heads as well as in our computers.
To my mind, the use of the moniker Cougars for older women who date younger men is unnecessary, un-flattering, un-savory, and sexist. After all, men have going after much younger women/ladies/girls since like, forever. Yet no such derogatory term has been associated with men of this ilk. There is a reason that this is so, like there is a reason that the reverse relates only to women. My question is, why haven’t women objected to this terms’ use? Where are all the feminine activists and advocates on this topic? Have women in general fallen victim to the intent of this campaign? Have women only looked at the warm-fuzzy images of young kittens or the lithe and slender representations of big cats? Wake up ladies, you’ve been bamboozled. By the way, what do we call similarly minded men? We simply call them Men!
Rather, I imagined myself in that position-on my stomach, trying to protect my face and neck, thinking I’m about to die, and wondering if help will arrive in time. This is a very scary scenario, people. So when I see commercials and print and media references to women as Cougars, I’m wondering what the bleep are they saying here? Are they ignorant of the meaning behind this term, or is the reference designed to evoke a latent, visceral, response in men subliminally? This label was likely created by a man with the intent of denigrating older women who like younger men-- in the now. I would argue too, that the subliminal effect would be to demonize such women in the minds of men-- in the future, after the brain processes the term and properly associates it with power and the violence.
The cable TV series ‘Ad Men’ provides a glimpse into the world of marketing and advertising. Very smart people are paid very handsome sums to come up with campaigns that have a subliminal effect. Ads that subtly take effect are highly prized in the commercial as well as the political arena. Such ads work without us realizing that we are being sold something. The movie ‘Inception’ has as its premise, the placing of a kernel of an idea into a victim’s brain. The purpose is to have this kernel accepted as a self originated concept, rather than as the external plant of someone else. If the brain is able to determine its foreign nature, the concept will not grow to fruition-at least that is the premise of the movie. The take-home point here is that Trojan Horses can be implanted like a virus, in our heads as well as in our computers.
To my mind, the use of the moniker Cougars for older women who date younger men is unnecessary, un-flattering, un-savory, and sexist. After all, men have going after much younger women/ladies/girls since like, forever. Yet no such derogatory term has been associated with men of this ilk. There is a reason that this is so, like there is a reason that the reverse relates only to women. My question is, why haven’t women objected to this terms’ use? Where are all the feminine activists and advocates on this topic? Have women in general fallen victim to the intent of this campaign? Have women only looked at the warm-fuzzy images of young kittens or the lithe and slender representations of big cats? Wake up ladies, you’ve been bamboozled. By the way, what do we call similarly minded men? We simply call them Men!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
U.S. District Judge Eviscerates Arizona's SB 1070
San Diego, California (CNN) -- on Wednesday, U.S. District Judge Susan Bolton ripped the guts out of SB 1070 striking down the most egregious and indefensible parts of Arizona's immigration law.
Ruben Navarette (commentary) is the first Hispanic-American that acknowledges what most Americans feel about the audacity of the illegal community in demanding ‘rights’ they have not earned nor deserve. I agree too, that allowing states to usurp federal authority is a dangerous precedent. Imagine what that might look like even in modern South Carolina or Mississippi for both Blacks and Hispanics. I have nightmares about such things after viewing documentaries of the post Jim Crow era. And when I travel and must leave Rt. 95 north from Florida for any reason, I have day mares that are equally scary.
But law enforcement has ways around normal legal processes in emergencies, called exigent circumstances that allow them to take extra-procedural (legal) measures. I think in fairness, that Arizona is feeling a similar state of emergency, as are many communities all over America. Pennsylvania and the Washington D.C. area are over flowing with hard drinking, bad driving, ‘insurance?...we don’t need no stinking insurance’-minded illegals. Don’t get me started on the burden to our health care systems their wives and girl friends, popping out 4 or 5 babies in 5 or 6 six years has. The country is being over-run while congress sits on its hands. We need a solution that criminalizes illegal entry, the employment of illegal aliens, criminal sanctions against employers, and a path to legal status that first sends them back. We cannot reward illegal behavior.
One final point: I reject the notion that illegal aliens are doing work Americans won’t do. That is a spurious argument based on a fallacy. Illegal aliens do work Americans won’t do for illegal rates of pay. I wish advocates would please make this distinction, because it buttresses the argument that contractors paying these illegal and immoral wages are the reason that so many settled in Arizona. I challenge anyone to visit any American city and watch roofers at work during the sweltering heat of July. You will find that the vast majority of the employees are White with some Black and Hispanic workers sprinkled in. The key element here is not the heat, but the $20-$30 bucks an hour they are earning. Better still, watch the TV show ‘Dirty Jobs’ on A&E. You will see White Americans cleaning greasy, dirty, heavy equipment, sewer lines, the bilge holds on ships, portable potties, and 20 story smoke stacks full of years of grime. Many of these jobs pay above average wages, and are Union shops. African Americans still have problems being admitted to unions, and I expect the same is true for Hispanic Americans. But there is no lack of desire to work these unsavory jobs. So please, I implore you to stop promoting this inaccurate misinformation.
tnasitispeaks-all rights reserved
Ruben Navarette (commentary) is the first Hispanic-American that acknowledges what most Americans feel about the audacity of the illegal community in demanding ‘rights’ they have not earned nor deserve. I agree too, that allowing states to usurp federal authority is a dangerous precedent. Imagine what that might look like even in modern South Carolina or Mississippi for both Blacks and Hispanics. I have nightmares about such things after viewing documentaries of the post Jim Crow era. And when I travel and must leave Rt. 95 north from Florida for any reason, I have day mares that are equally scary.
But law enforcement has ways around normal legal processes in emergencies, called exigent circumstances that allow them to take extra-procedural (legal) measures. I think in fairness, that Arizona is feeling a similar state of emergency, as are many communities all over America. Pennsylvania and the Washington D.C. area are over flowing with hard drinking, bad driving, ‘insurance?...we don’t need no stinking insurance’-minded illegals. Don’t get me started on the burden to our health care systems their wives and girl friends, popping out 4 or 5 babies in 5 or 6 six years has. The country is being over-run while congress sits on its hands. We need a solution that criminalizes illegal entry, the employment of illegal aliens, criminal sanctions against employers, and a path to legal status that first sends them back. We cannot reward illegal behavior.
One final point: I reject the notion that illegal aliens are doing work Americans won’t do. That is a spurious argument based on a fallacy. Illegal aliens do work Americans won’t do for illegal rates of pay. I wish advocates would please make this distinction, because it buttresses the argument that contractors paying these illegal and immoral wages are the reason that so many settled in Arizona. I challenge anyone to visit any American city and watch roofers at work during the sweltering heat of July. You will find that the vast majority of the employees are White with some Black and Hispanic workers sprinkled in. The key element here is not the heat, but the $20-$30 bucks an hour they are earning. Better still, watch the TV show ‘Dirty Jobs’ on A&E. You will see White Americans cleaning greasy, dirty, heavy equipment, sewer lines, the bilge holds on ships, portable potties, and 20 story smoke stacks full of years of grime. Many of these jobs pay above average wages, and are Union shops. African Americans still have problems being admitted to unions, and I expect the same is true for Hispanic Americans. But there is no lack of desire to work these unsavory jobs. So please, I implore you to stop promoting this inaccurate misinformation.
tnasitispeaks-all rights reserved
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